smatter:

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

BEST MOM

I’m crYING

This is the best fucking thing.

harrysthefather:

tony-can-pierce-my-veil:

gettin-nakie-outside:

witchyroses:

kickthebuttstickz:

fantasticallyshantastic:

stickyhunter:

fanuary:

stickyhunter:

ollivandur:

adxn:

Calm your tits! D:!

i’M TRYING But IT’s HARDER THAN IT LOOKS

HOLD UP! I have a solution to this!

Follow my lead, people!

Simply pat your boobs and tell say ‘Everything will be fine. It’s okay.’

Then everything will be fine.

You dumb females. This is obviously fake.

Huh? What is this?

YE DID NOT HEAD MY WARNING

Okay…

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN

This is the only “hey girls” that I fully support

I wonder what mine do…

MYGOD

IDONT EVEN CARE HOW LONG THIS POST IS THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN YM ENTIRE LIFE

augustusir:

I want this

missdontcare-x:

You just can’t not reblog this.

missmally:

when you are a #PLUS size #woman, people like to say “yeah, she’s cute in the face”’ as if being full figured is such a disgrace. honey, i am #cute in the face, and i am thicker in the waist. i look good whether i am in cotton, leather, or lace. i am #beautiful, vibrant and above all, #smart! there’s more to me than my #weight, i also have a #heart. yes, my clothes may be a bigger #size, that just means you have access to a bigger size to a bigger #prize. we all are not #self-conscious about our weight, and we never have problem getting a date. so, dont think your small frame gives you more pull, im a #hot, #sexy, #curvy woman with a #figure , thats all!